tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60897402012-02-01T18:57:56.995-08:00stuff happens. then you fall asleepkitchen handnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2611100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1137984216502938282006-01-22T18:39:00.000-08:002006-01-22T18:44:37.610-08:00

Everything must go! The stupid jokes, the funny stories, the inane comments, the sheer idiocy ...There will be no more Joe Bloggs after today.However, I will continue to blog as kitchen hand here. Come on over. is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1137119018070933202006-01-12T18:21:00.000-08:002006-01-12T18:25:33.710-08:00

I was wrong.I wonder what they're thinking?Maybe that they might fall out of the tree.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1136689012173688222006-01-07T18:55:00.000-08:002006-01-07T19:00:40.096-08:00

He should concentrate on his bike riding more.It's crazy out there. North Carlton to St Kilda is straight through the CBD. He'll get knocked over. All that gazing about associating numbers with places. "Uh, 2150 - the Shrine. 2151, tramstop 24. 2152, that imitation Rodin statue outside 464 St Kilda Rod. 2153, Wesley College."is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1136422498644822492006-01-04T16:38:00.000-08:002006-01-04T16:58:55.200-08:00

Some guys with WAY too much time on their hands have discovered the highest prime number yet, a prime number divisible only by itself and one.It's a big number. It has 9.1 million digits. I tried to work out how long it would take you to count up to that number. I allowed a second to enunciate numbers 1-1000, a couple of seconds for 1000-1,000,000, five seconds for a million through to the

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1134687391557388852005-12-15T14:51:00.000-08:002005-12-15T20:23:33.206-08:00

Well, the turntable in the microwave will probably have a turkey and some roast vegetables on it, but right now I'm talking record turntables. Or CDs. Jaden Kale has 'tagged' me with the Christmas music 'meme'. I do like a good questionnaire and I PARTICULARLY like music and I ESPECIALLY like Christmas, so I got into this with great alacrity, which is not what I usually get into things with.Good

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1134603080596354492005-12-14T15:29:00.000-08:002005-12-14T15:31:20.606-08:00

Yesterday Uluru, tomorrow the world. (See two posts down - Earth google.)But today, we'll visit one of my favourite places, the Murray River - the water of which flows from the Australian high country and then winds its way down towards South Australia through endless vibrant landscapes with the kind of light that is seen nowhere else in the world, past endless River Red Gums, beneath red cliffs,

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1134539239674665022005-12-13T21:46:00.000-08:002005-12-13T21:55:07.173-08:00

Can you believe this?Just because some idiot woman stuck her stupid hand near the lion, the zoo has caved in and installed electric fences inside the enclosure which will shock the lions (just an 'unpleasant buzzing sensation', said the zoo).A letter writer in the same paper says the electric fence should be on the outside of the lion's enclosure. Proving that there are still some sane people in

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1134435445833104652005-12-12T16:47:00.000-08:002005-12-12T17:53:37.110-08:00

You're flying Google Earth.Right now we're taking off for Uluru, Australia. And there it is, right down there, looking different, of course, to its usual photographed profile. Now let's zoom in a little. We're still looking directly down on it, so now let's tilt it so we can see its imposing profile against the horizon.Now, holding the tilt, we circle it to see it from all its angles. Amazing.Now

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1134100254722227272005-12-08T19:49:00.000-08:002005-12-08T19:50:54.736-08:00

I'm totally stupid. Just saying.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1133998757330601402005-12-07T15:36:00.000-08:002005-12-07T15:39:17.340-08:00

1. Who had the very first blog in the whole world? And what was their first post about?2. Who made the very first comment on someone's blog? And what did they say?Well, I guess that's four things. But I really want to know. Any ideas?is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1133822513456570122005-12-05T14:41:00.000-08:002005-12-05T14:41:53.466-08:00

Mr Hibbertopterus the giant scorpion slowly and carefully picked his way across the sand one cold, windy afternoon, minding his own business.He'd been out gathering food (he was more of a gatherer than a hunter) to bring home to Mrs Hibbertopterus and the little Hibbertopteruses (-i?) and was looking forward to a nice smoky Scotch, maybe a Laphroaig, maybe a Bruichladdich, maybe something he

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1133482950684774692005-12-01T16:15:00.000-08:002005-12-01T16:29:24.956-08:00

PEOPLE - THEY DON'T WORK ANY MORE! THROW THEM OUT!I've been thinking about this and I have several theories why they end up back in the drawer.Theory 1. A ballpoint pen that has run out of ink doesn't look broken and people only throw out things that look broken.Theory 2. They think it hasn't really run out of ink, that it's the paper's fault, like it's waxy or something.Theory 3. My most

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1133318146161188652005-11-29T18:26:00.000-08:002005-11-29T18:35:46.173-08:00

'Hello.''Hi. It's Mum!''Mum, I'm at school.''I know. I just called to ask you what you'd like for dinner.''Mum, I'm in the middle of a lesson.''Well, tell me what you'd like and I'll let you go!''Mum, everyone's looking at me and the teacher's glaring at me. I can't start talking about what I want for dinner now!''Well, all right, I'll try and think of something. Can you pick up some milk on the

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1133244479478368722005-11-28T22:05:00.000-08:002005-11-28T22:16:04.326-08:00

Check out the time lapse photography on the webcam (scroll down) at Macquarie Island, Australian Antarctic Territory. In two hours, those walruses HAVEN'T MOVED!is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1133130479470930182005-11-27T14:19:00.000-08:002005-11-27T14:28:43.646-08:00

With over 260 kilometres of coastline and an area of over 2000 square metres, Port Phillip Bay is an extremely large body of water.Some bright spark has decided to count the fish in it.How? By sending scuba divers down.Good luck. Having said that, I'd love to do it. Imagine the conversations.Other person at cocktail party (holding martini glass): 'What do you do?'Me: 'I count fish.'Other person :

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1132784053075806022005-11-23T14:13:00.000-08:002005-11-23T14:15:19.576-08:00

Why is there no driftwood at the beach any more?is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1132722483097324202005-11-22T21:03:00.000-08:002005-11-22T21:08:03.110-08:00

That's today's Word Verification Codeword of the Day. I don't have word verification because no-one wants to spam me, but other blogs do. I just left a comment on one and the word verification code word came up - hobqini.Except it was all in slanty, rounded, floaty lettering. Isn't hobqini a great word? It sounds like the boss of the fairies or a stovetop cleaning device, I'm not sure which.is it

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1132618365955871612005-11-21T16:11:00.000-08:002005-11-21T16:12:45.966-08:00

Maybe not.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1132617179955544182005-11-21T15:50:00.000-08:002005-11-21T15:59:00.683-08:00

Carrying the coffin down the aisle might have been a bit difficult.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1132194461302714302005-11-16T18:23:00.000-08:002005-11-16T18:35:39.233-08:00

Can you believe that?A nine-year-old boy who should have more sense, jumps a fence, runs over to a leopard's cage, leans against it and gets scratched, YET THE STUPID KID'S MOTHER PATRONISINGLY SAYS THE LEOPARD SHOULD BE SPARED?More stupid stuff in the story: the kid's fellow students (he was on a school excursion) were to be offered 'counselling' BOTH at the zoo and after they returned to school

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1132098314265222372005-11-15T15:44:00.000-08:002005-11-15T15:52:06.090-08:00

Well, approximately 175. After all, a woman never reveals her age. is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1132023367366820722005-11-14T18:46:00.001-08:002005-11-14T18:56:07.376-08:00

The language sure and all is changing.Time was when close a window meant it was cold outside so you got up and slammed down the glass and timber sash. Now it's what you do when you want to make an information box disappear from a computer screen.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1131516786976748082005-11-08T22:10:00.000-08:002005-11-08T22:47:21.513-08:00

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,Thou art not so unkind dear Mistah NelsonAs man's ingratitude and lack of hard erection;Thy tooth is not so keenOutside the sky is light with stars; Get 26% discount when you buy softwareThere's a hollow roaring from the sea. And, alas! no crysalis online pharmaceutical for the little almond flowers, The wind is shaking the almond tree and videos only of your most

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1131425616882901502005-11-07T20:53:00.000-08:002005-11-07T20:53:36.896-08:00

Last night I dreamt I woke up at three in the morning. I climbed out of bed and came out to the living room. It was the size of a palace ballroom. All the lights were on and there were a dozen or so people there, children and adults.'Excuse ME!' I shouted.They all looked at me.'Go to bed NOW! The lot of you!' And looking directly at the adults, I said 'You adults should know BETTER!'Then I turned

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1130989878551464112005-11-02T19:50:00.000-08:002005-11-03T20:25:06.173-08:00

I'm a little tired.And I've suddenly developed a weird fascination with symbols.

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1130979075780098802005-11-02T16:44:00.000-08:002005-11-02T16:54:54.106-08:00

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1130726147496356212005-10-30T18:35:00.000-08:002005-10-30T18:43:08.250-08:00

I don't know where he went, but if I was his mother, I'd lock him in his room.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1129850670412732732005-10-20T16:24:00.000-07:002005-10-20T16:26:23.210-07:00

I was hoping the story of such an heroic rat would have had a happier ending. Like being given a name ('Thorpe the Rat'?) and being allowed to live in the gardens of the university where the scientists do their research.But no.After being on the run for 18 weeks, it was eventually killed in a trap baited with penguin meat. I don't know whether to more indignant at the fate of the rat or the

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1129790088827141202005-10-19T23:23:00.000-07:002005-10-20T04:17:22.440-07:00

It's because there are way too many blogs.In fact, there are now 19.6 million weblogs, which is double that of five months ago and thirty times that of three years ago. And there is a new blog created every second.Imagine if you were really compulsive about reading blogs and you tried to comment on every blog in the world.Of course, alert readers will already have realised that I predicted all of

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1129635399564534042005-10-18T04:36:00.000-07:002005-10-18T04:36:39.573-07:00

.... a faulty mouse? Trying to drag the cursor is like cleaning up a mudslide with a feather duster.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1129534766124710672005-10-17T00:37:00.000-07:002005-10-17T00:39:26.133-07:00

Shampoo.Why? I don't know. It just sounds wrong. is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1129192880933757732005-10-13T01:32:00.000-07:002005-10-13T01:55:55.043-07:00

There are no announcers any more, only unfunny, smarmy 'comedians' power-laughing to each other after yet another stupid gag. There is no interesting music any more, only Nickelback and Jack Johnson.There is no variety any more, every station has its own repetitive playlist. Even when I turn in desperation to supposed 'golden oldies' stations, they play the songs I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO HEAR IN

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1128992314083571312005-10-10T17:38:00.000-07:002005-10-10T18:15:41.103-07:00

Ian T. reports in comments (previous post) being stuck between a party house and overgardeners. I know about the overgardeners - there are several in my street. It seems to be a competition. They have diosma clipped into shapes like chairs, miniature windmills that whir in the wind and painted concrete sculptures of cute doe-eyed animals on the garden beds, which are all covered in either white

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1128816768917539362005-10-08T17:11:00.000-07:002005-10-08T17:12:48.923-07:00

WHACK!!!!is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1128657734134727912005-10-06T21:00:00.000-07:002005-10-06T21:04:35.100-07:00

And homosexuals and lesbians are a 'minority of perverts'?These guys are cretins. They just are.Sorry, it's beyond argument. Medieval cretins. Not that medieval people were cretins, but these guys are both medieval and cretinous.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1128568809463004572005-10-05T20:16:00.000-07:002005-10-05T20:20:09.470-07:00

It's probably a better idea than actually shooting the guy holding the party, but I guess it all comes down to the same thing in the end.Interesting to see if he gets a custodial sentence.No! I mean the shooter!is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1128466153313996632005-10-04T15:46:00.000-07:002005-10-04T15:59:00.803-07:00

Don Adams last week, Ronnie Barker this week.They're all going. The genuinely funny people who WERE television in the 1960s.Comic genius, master of timing.He wanted to be remembered as 'one of the funniest men people have seen on TV.'Indeed he was. I know I laughed.Is it just the mists of time playing with my memory, or was the quality of broadcasting superior in its earlier days? Does anyone

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1127861947070686742005-09-27T15:50:00.000-07:002005-09-27T15:59:07.076-07:00

Every once in a while, someone has a really good idea.I would have loved that. I wouldn't stop there, however. I would ditch homework, several subjects and compulsory note-taking. I'm not sure about anyone else but I had a teacher - in years 11 and 12 - who made us write out entire slabs of text-books because we had to learn 'note-taking' to prepare for the rigours of university study.Foolish

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1127694010971120192005-09-25T17:19:00.000-07:002005-09-25T17:24:39.370-07:00

Not that I read the personals beyond occasional morbid curiosity, they're a bit sad really, but have you ever noticed how people completely oversell themselves in these ads? 'Good sense of humour', 'bubbly personality' - all that kind of thing. The trick, of course, is to undersell yourself:Description: Short, fat man with absolutely no sense of humour seeks stunning female. I have no money, no

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1127283953358857422005-09-20T23:23:00.000-07:002005-09-20T23:25:53.363-07:00

Being excited about another comment appearing on your post, only to check it and realise that it was YOUR OWN reply to previous commenters.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1126774911553951762005-09-15T02:01:00.000-07:002005-09-15T02:39:43.326-07:00

Because I dislike the word 'meme'. (How can someone dislike a word? Easy. I dislike many words. Some I even detest.)How many books do I own?Far too many. They lurk, they shuffle, they sit on dark shelves silently and laugh on open shelves out loud. They reside in boxes stuffed away in back rooms. They probably dance with each other at night, covers akimbo, leaves all a-splay. They come out

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1126684659441107512005-09-14T00:49:00.000-07:002005-09-14T01:01:33.230-07:00

After lambasting (I love that word, it has culinary overtones but I can't think why) other people for not posting, I go off into space or disappear in the Amazon basin or get lost in the Gobi desert or whatever. (It's more like the 'whatever' than any of the others. I would like to visit the Amazon and the Gobi desert but it will probably never happen. Day trips to the beach seem to be the

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1124773466998365482005-08-22T22:02:00.000-07:002005-08-22T22:04:27.003-07:00

I never realised how to pronounce his name, either, until I heard news reports of his death.Vale, Dr Moog. Even if your name does rhyme with 'vogue'.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1124711941270288642005-08-22T04:53:00.000-07:002005-08-22T05:20:30.563-07:00

And the day dawned.And it sailed across the morning, crossed midday and settled down through the afternoon, very slowly, because that's how afternoons happen and the sun knows that.Then it disappeared, because it was still winter.I'm looking forward to Spring. So is the sun.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1124711415132935392005-08-22T04:49:00.000-07:002005-08-22T04:51:15.093-07:00

Book Kitten: Where are you?is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1124624414356004112005-08-21T04:37:00.000-07:002005-08-21T04:47:14.020-07:00

I had already read the book, but that day was my first journey to Hanging Rock.On that faraway day; still, sunny, pre-spring; I thought I saw eternity or heaven.Maybe I did.The mother of my first two children was there. It was at Hanging Rock I fell in love with her.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1124017880629888232005-08-14T04:10:00.000-07:002005-08-14T04:33:11.286-07:00

Prestbury's Diary, stopped 24 May 2005. Monkey, June 29. Topanga, where are you? Cupcake Man turns 27 and shuts his blog. Like that's a reason?Marutle, where are you?And ThisGirl, who last posted July 18?Then there is the writer in England.Where are you all? Post soon please. I am missing you.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1123588822060496862005-08-09T04:57:00.000-07:002005-08-09T18:13:48.113-07:00

But I am very tired. And I apologise for a week of no posts.But there it is.But I will be back within days, maybe within 24 hours.Too many buts.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1122896449899220272005-08-01T04:39:00.000-07:002005-08-01T04:40:49.906-07:00

Thoroughbreds in the Southern Hemisphere celebrate their birthdays on August 1.Many happy returns to gee-gees everywhere.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1122716253772574472005-07-30T02:01:00.000-07:002005-07-30T02:39:50.876-07:00

Who decided the full stops were going to be called 'dot'?And why? If it was for reasons of brevity, why did they go and choose the longest letter for the domain - 'doubleyou, doubleyou, doubleyou'? Huh? Why not 'eee', standing for 'Earth's Electronic Encyclopedia'? Or 'iii' for 'Intercontinental Information Interchange'. Or even 'ccc' for 'Complicated Communication Channel'? And why do people

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1122337380464242842005-07-25T17:19:00.000-07:002005-07-25T17:53:33.136-07:00

You get 246,000,000 results in 0.10 seconds.Just thought I'd let all my readers know what I do with my day.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1121991838074385632005-07-21T17:21:00.000-07:002005-07-21T17:27:06.516-07:00

I just bought the entire Potter series in a boxed set.It is some of the best writing in the English language. Spare, perfectly observed, dramatic and sometimes frightening; yet containing a sense of the everyday that has never failed to enthrall generations of children.And their parents, like me.No, not that Potter.This Potter.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1121903385591872632005-07-20T16:47:00.000-07:002005-07-20T19:18:55.913-07:00

This guy's chickens are disturbing the neighbours.Doesn't he know chickens only come from Red Rooster* or the deep freeze section in the supermarket?He probably even eats their eggs.(*Read about my Red Rooster incident here.)is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1121825058280303802005-07-19T19:02:00.000-07:002005-07-19T19:17:19.410-07:00

They're coming to the Zoo soon.Animal activists oppose the importation of these gentle Heydy-Hos.'Animal welfare groups, including the RSPCA and the International Fund for Animal Welfare, are bitterly opposed to the importation. They claim the elephants should be left in their country of origin, and have threatened to go to the courts to block the arrival. More than 52,000 postcards were sent to

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1121656573136910052005-07-17T20:13:00.000-07:002005-07-17T20:16:55.656-07:00

1. Write one.2. Make sure your name is J. K. Rowling.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1121392041466367522005-07-14T18:44:00.000-07:002005-07-14T19:24:43.726-07:00

I'll start now. Let's see how long it takes.a One of many, as against 'the'; denoting someone anonymous or with derision, as against someone famous or held in high regard - 'there's a joe bloggs at the door, anyone know 'im?' as against 'the blogger joe bloggs attended a cocktail party at which he talked about weblogs with the prime minister'.aardvark Long-snouted african ant-eating

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1121300281161002422005-07-13T17:07:00.000-07:002005-07-14T16:56:09.070-07:00

When I was about five years old, I saw a shop with the title Coin Laundry. I asked my father if they washed money in there and he said yes. My father always encouraged my misconceptions.We lived near two racecourses. There were always large trucks ferrying magnificent racehorses in and out. (I was familiar with horses as both the baker and the milkman drove Clydesdales up our street.) The

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1121214438853898722005-07-12T17:24:00.000-07:002005-07-12T18:04:19.396-07:00

It's just that today, I called someone and got their voicemail.Instead of saying 'Leave a message', it said 'Leave a comment'.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1121060026887112642005-07-10T22:32:00.000-07:002005-07-10T22:48:28.700-07:00

The Herald Sun dropped Fred Bassett.I complained.Now they have returned it. A par in today's print edition advises, 'Man's best friend Fred Bassett has found his way back home to the Herald Sun.' And there he is on page 65.You can thank me, Fred Bassett fans.(PS: The Herald Sun announcement also boasts that the cartoon is now in colour. I preferred black and white because the muddy colour

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1120438620413982122005-07-03T17:55:00.000-07:002005-07-03T18:07:46.153-07:00

Most people wouldn't have known there were only nine left anyway.Now they're down to eight.Time for a new name.The Eight Large Rocks? The Eight Pieces of Granite?How about Eight on Great? Hmm. Maybe not.Maybe we'll just stick with the original title. After all, the orginal apostles died one by one, didn't they?is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1120289343274261432005-07-02T00:28:00.000-07:002005-07-02T00:32:09.236-07:00

When a linked blogger stops blogging (see post of 6/29 - there are no permalinks), do you remove his link from your sidebar? Or keep it there? If so, for how long?Or would removing the link be like taking books down from the library shelves once an author stops writing?Life has just too many damn questions.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1120174038177817362005-06-30T16:27:00.000-07:002005-06-30T16:27:18.183-07:00

It was made in the 1940s in Denmark. It has rounded corners - almost as rounded as an old bathtub - and its timber glows with the kind of lustrous warmth typical of early 20th century Scandinavian furniture. It's not art deco, it is more arts and crafts, I guess. I found it in a second-hand shop. I had been looking for a desk for quite some time, but new ones are generally badly made. And

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1119929319620275232005-06-27T20:28:00.000-07:002005-06-27T20:28:39.626-07:00

I'd love to fly somewhere - anywhere - in an aircraft with a name like this. is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1119705338251504002005-06-25T06:14:00.000-07:002005-06-25T06:56:46.470-07:00

My friend Grant Morgan has at last decided to weave his words worldwide, via his brand new weblog. Go visit and say hello. You'll find plenty to read, think about and enjoy in his poetry and prose.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1119243474485569092005-06-19T21:57:00.000-07:002005-06-19T22:05:00.610-07:00

:)is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1118978223990893572005-06-16T20:08:00.000-07:002005-06-16T20:51:24.526-07:00

Most married couples secretly want to kill each other but never get around to it.Conversely, Mr & Mrs Smith spend half the movie ACTUALLY TRYING to kill each other, but secretly DON'T want to.So they stop. And have sex instead.Then other people try to kill them and they get mad.(I'd get mad, too, if someone tried to kill me with large-scale weaponry including RPGs and AK-47s while I was trying to

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1118355872563985812005-06-09T15:22:00.000-07:002005-06-10T01:47:18.576-07:00

Until reminded by Topanga.So here it is:Gwee'on n.In Australia, a stone tomahawk.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1118288112689644112005-06-08T20:24:00.000-07:002005-06-08T20:42:43.406-07:00

My dictionary is very useful.It is so old it doesn't have 'computer'. But everyone knows what a computer is. So why would anyone look it up?However, it does have 'gweeon', right there after 'guzzle' and before 'gybe'.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1118186839678041742005-06-07T16:20:00.000-07:002005-06-07T16:28:48.470-07:00

Isn't it cute?I love these aircraft pictures - I grew up south of Essendon Aerodrome - my family's home is somewhere in the background of that main shot.My brother and I used to walk into the Aerodrome and poke about amongst the planes. Security? Huh! They were easier days. The only thing you couldn't do was walk on the runway. Well, at least while a plane was landing or taking off.One bright,

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1118031567265857492005-06-05T21:12:00.000-07:002005-06-05T21:20:50.526-07:00

Ten seconds of wait music.Then: 'Thank you very much for paying your bill via Acme Gas and Electricity Company's fast, convenient telephone payment system - we're putting the power in YOUR hands! Your receipt number is Q (pause), 1 (pause), 0 (pause), 0 (pause), 9 (pause), 5 (pause), 7 (pause), 9 (pause), 2 (pause), 9 (pause), 5 (pause), 0 (pause), 9 (pause), 5 (pause), 8 (pause), 2. To hear your

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1117778306433033562005-06-02T22:54:00.000-07:002005-06-02T23:01:31.386-07:00

'The detective story comes rather late in the history of literature, being a mere 135 years old. The simple reason for the late appearance of this story form lies in the fact that, before the early 1800's, there were no detectives.'That clears that up.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1117542509707618252005-05-31T05:19:00.000-07:002005-05-31T05:28:29.713-07:00

Blackbird flying in the skyplease don't look me in the eyeyou are very very luckyit's never easy to find methe winter's coming now you've grownthe cold will numb you to the boneit cuts you through so that you knowin pain the minutes go so slowyour soul and mine will carry onwhen this transparent world is gonethere's nothing strange in what i sayit's always meant to be this way*- thanks, andy bell

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1117063694895526262005-05-25T15:54:00.000-07:002005-05-25T17:01:15.863-07:00

After many years, the Melbourne Herald Sun has quietly dropped Alex Graham's Fred Bassett.If Snoopy was the eternal child amidst the baseball playing field and the piano practice room of a 1950s American childhood, Fred was the amiable uncle in a comfortable suburb somewhere in Britain - probably Scotland - in a similar era.Snoopy's world was a sometimes frightening rough and tumble playground,

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1117003226631423522005-05-24T23:37:00.000-07:002005-05-24T23:46:02.903-07:00

Its combination of horror and theatrical comedy intrigued me, reminding me of some of Hitchcock's material.I googled the author, Alec Coppel, and sure enough, he wrote scripts for, among others, Hitchcock, including Vertigo, and also wrote the screenplay for A Man About a Dog which was made as Obsession, also released as Hidden Room.There were way too many commas in that last sentence.is it time

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1116911274657132092005-05-23T21:41:00.000-07:002005-05-23T22:10:47.663-07:00

Some books just disappear.I found one in a musty old secondhand bookshop in Sorrento.A Man About a Dog by Alec Coppel, first published in London 1947 during the austerity years: 'THIS BOOK IS PRODUCED IN COMPLETE CONFORMITY WITH THE AUTHORIZED ECONOMY STANDARDS'.It's quite the comedy to begin with. It's all couched in theatrical language:'Clive is married, and his wife's name is Storm - Storm

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1116632277717085172005-05-20T16:32:00.000-07:002005-05-20T16:45:16.900-07:00

I picked up a plastic jar.It wasn't shampoo. It wasn't conditioner.It was something else. 'Face scrub' or something. It had bits in it. Bits of what, I don't know. Lucky I didn't put any in my hair. The jar looked just like the shampoo jar. Or tube or whatever it is you call plastic containers.There was another one. I picked it up. It was a struggle. I'm 6'2" and the shower cubicle is kinda small

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1116331911780271742005-05-17T05:09:00.000-07:002005-05-17T05:20:05.516-07:00

Well, what do you think they'd like?It's obvious. Something which will shut the visitors up.Oh, that's crude. Sorry. Being a librarian today is so not about making the vistors BE QUIET.(Did you notice that the reporter wrote, ungrammatically, but that is not my point, 'even God got a look in'? God wrote the Bible?)'Journalism' is like fashion. It's what they think their friends will like. Or

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1116222548105652582005-05-15T22:45:00.000-07:002005-05-15T22:59:06.800-07:00

I'd been shopping.Came home.Later that day, where's my phone? Not in the hallway. Not in my pockets. Not in the car.Call the number from the landline. Pause. The refrigerator gives a muffled ring.Open the door. A plastic bag containing bacon bones from the butcher is ringing. Not so muffled any more.There's my phone. In with the bacon bones. I must have dropped it into the bag when I was putting

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1116029951339616642005-05-13T17:18:00.000-07:002005-05-13T17:19:11.343-07:00

I'd suggest the Vatican has more of a problem with bureaucrats than stray cats.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1115991853313634672005-05-13T06:36:00.000-07:002005-05-13T06:44:13.316-07:00

Nobody had a problem with it.But somebody - in the Church, after political correctness finally held sway over actual theological common sense - decided to call it ... reconciliation.And what the hell does that mean?It means nothing, Jack. Nothing at all.If you're going to confess your sins, you're going to confess your sins. Reconciliation? A stupid word for a stupid world.is it time for a nap

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1115896400816725192005-05-12T03:54:00.000-07:002005-05-12T04:13:21.046-07:00

The other day, I saw an old man, probably seventy or seventy-five, eat an ice-cream. I was sitting somewhere, drinking a coffee, and I watched this old man walk to the ice-cream stall in the mall. He looked at the flavours, bought the ice-cream, walked across to a seat, sat in the sun, all on his own, and ate the ice-cream, enjoying it just like a five-year-old would.Who knows what a seventy-five

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1115811393177497052005-05-11T04:31:00.000-07:002005-05-11T04:36:33.183-07:00

Why would 'hitting reload' help? It sounds quite violent.I suppose it is like 'refresh' which used to mean spraying something fragrant at something else, or taking a bath.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1115292255410623852005-05-05T04:14:00.000-07:002005-05-05T04:24:15.416-07:00

Thanks to my personal IT consultant, Andrew, my son.I completely screwed up the installation of Haloscan comments following the catastrophic failure of CommentThis! after which all previous comments were lost.So now I have blogger comments.And now all I have to do is post something interesting enough to earn a comment or two.Hmm. Could be a challenge.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1115101354050605822005-05-02T23:16:00.000-07:002005-05-02T23:22:34.050-07:00

My old comments - through CommentThis! - failed. So I tried to install Haloscan comments.I don't know what happened, but it's there twice.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1115099480625877612005-05-02T22:51:00.000-07:002005-05-02T22:51:20.626-07:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1114866431332072312005-04-30T05:59:00.000-07:002005-04-30T06:07:11.333-07:00

They buzzed about me ... I must have been four? The bee tree was full of yellow flowers.One stung me. On my thumb.The bees buzzed louder. I watched them.The bee tree swayed in the summer breeze.Late. Warm. Golden. Young.Someone called from inside the house.I don't know, too long ago.I sat on a bench with a toothbrush, aged three, chirping radio in the background.is it time for a nap yet? i think

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1114435264272387062005-04-25T06:13:00.000-07:002005-04-25T06:21:04.273-07:00

There is a fly one foot to my left, walking around the rim of the sugar bowl, which is on the table, because you never know when you will want a cup of tea. Tne sugar bowl has a lid. So the fly cannot get into the sugar bowl. Which is probably why it is walking around the edge.It just lifted up and away. And now it has landed on the milk jug. The milk jug has two blue bands around it, a typical

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1114342277882561402005-04-24T04:27:00.000-07:002005-04-24T04:31:17.883-07:00

This happened a year or so ago. I thought my blog was dead. (And the others.)They weren't.What is happening is that they take ages to open and then no comments are available.It's happening again, but I can't remember the solution. Of course, I'm hoping Blogger is going to post this. Here goes:is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1114149655062471622005-04-21T22:37:00.000-07:002005-04-22T03:46:43.956-07:00

One of the greatest pop songs ever written crept quietly up the pop charts in the spring of 1977 when the world was young and I was not yet 21.Year of the Cat - Al Stewart. She comes out of the sun in a silk dress runningLike a watercolour in the rainThe break is led out by sad cellos mourning loss and then introducing a sweet crying guitar, dripping notes like tears on a broken heart. They parry

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1114051984528876852005-04-20T19:51:00.000-07:002005-04-20T19:57:33.256-07:00

Why didn't he just call himself Pope Joe? It's not as if his first name were Mercury:'The first pope known to have changed his name was John II in 533. He was previously called Mercury but thought the Christian pontiff should not have the name of a pagan Roman god.'Quite frankly, I like the sound of Pope Mercury. Or Pope Pluto for that matter. Pope Uranus, probably not. is it time for a nap yet?

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1113865544689352752005-04-18T16:00:00.000-07:002005-04-18T16:05:44.690-07:00

Pack up the vacuum cleaner and the first thing you will see is a conspicuous piece of fluff on the carpet.When children put away their box of Lego blocks, there is always a sharp piece left on the floor to be trodden on in bare feet.After you shave and leave the house, there is always one damn hair left near your ear or on your neck and it will bug you like crazy all day.is it time for a nap yet?

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1113824637615998822005-04-18T04:42:00.000-07:002005-04-18T04:43:57.616-07:00

Who decided there had to be a letter 's' in the word 'lisp'?is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1113736464376565042005-04-17T04:03:00.000-07:002005-04-17T05:30:19.040-07:00

Chandler had an eye for fakery.This Raymond Chandler website, maybe a genuine fan, I don't know, maybe a pretender academic, lists the following 'famous quotes' from Chandler's works:"The minutes went by on toptoe, with their fingers to their lips." ---The Lady in the Lake (Chapter 1)"I'm an occational drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard."

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1113450407754270042005-04-13T20:39:00.000-07:002005-04-13T20:46:47.753-07:00

The old song from some theatre musical went 'I danced with a man who danced with a girl who danced with the Prince of Wales.'Now it's 'I linked to a blog which linked to a blog which linked to someone else's blog.'is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1113267580272449092005-04-11T17:46:00.000-07:002005-04-11T18:25:03.116-07:00

Small talk can be difficult. It's hard to know whether the barber or the dentist is really interested or is just asking questions for the sake of it. Well, you'd get bored too if all you did all day was snap scissors around people's heads or plunge your hands down their throats.So I went back to the dentist. A bit of tooth fell off, nothing major, you wouldn't even know to look at it, it just

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1112831716550557842005-04-06T16:54:00.000-07:002005-04-06T16:55:16.550-07:00

... or is Jack Johnson driving anyone else crazy?What the hell is he doing with his guitar?Slapping it?is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1112654970583433292005-04-04T15:45:00.000-07:002005-04-04T15:50:34.273-07:00

And failing miserably. So far.I guess every book is a failure until it is published.I should console myself with the thought that, even when published, some books are rubbish.Hmmm. I just thought about that for a little too long and it is not a consolation.is it time for a nap yet? i think so

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1111649797353637452005-03-23T23:31:00.000-08:002005-03-23T23:40:28.103-08:00

On my blog, over to the right, below Google News (why do I have Google News on my weblog?) it says Send Me an Email.Some time ago, filegirl pointed out to me that I had the incorrect email address. But I corrected the address only in Comments - the line that shows your email address - and omitted to correct it in the Send Me an Email link. Sometimes I can be very stupid. Other times, I'm

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1111146651595849802005-03-18T03:48:00.000-08:002005-03-22T17:21:32.856-08:00

Then suddenly it was over. The car and the caravan trundled back across Victoria, along the craggy, dramatic shipwreck coast, through windy Warrnambool, past Terang and all the green potato fields, through Camperdown and past the mysterious floating islands. Then Colac. Then Geelong. Towns passed faster and faster. Slow down. I wanted this journey to last forever. But we didn't slow down. It's

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6089740.post-1110437197131241082005-03-09T22:45:00.000-08:002005-03-11T23:32:38.366-08:00

The home stretch. Out of Adelaide, heading for the Victorian border and home to Melbourne.But now, one last side trip. We'll travel around the coast instead of taking the direct route.Turning right at Murray Bridge, we headed along the coast to Robe.The Coorong. Oh my. What a place. If anywhere in Australia has that mystical aboriginal sense of place, this does. The desert had been a staggering

kitchen handnoreply@blogger.com0