Wednesday, May 19, 2004

One more post about my cell phone then I'll shut the hell up. 

So. In figuring out whether all the functions of my dunked, washed and spun cell-phone (maybe I could write an opera and call it The Rinse Cycle) I had to actually discover some of those functions, having never used them before.

For example, my cell-phone rings in an annoying kind of electronic version of a sped-up Hallelujah Chorus - Beethoven would NOT approve. Neither would the composer George Frederick Handel - HA, got you there music buffs!

Anyways, I checked out the 'profiles' menu. I had seen it before but not taken any notice, thought it was a place to like, store black and white side-on photographs of my family so I could look at them lovingly on the little screen when I was away from home.

But no! 'Profiles' is for changing all your cell phone's settings, such as the ring tone. (Why isn't it called 'change settings?') So I found out my jerky annoying Handelesque ring-tone that had survived the washing machine was called Hurdy-Gurdy, and that I could change it to a number of other ring-tones.

Many of the others were just as annoying but I found a nice one called 'mangrove' that sounds like the soothing far-away frog sounds that come out of a swamp - while at the same time the phone vibrates gently, moving slightly from side to side, on the desk like some kind of primeval alligator stirring. Very swampy. Very nice.

I know, I could have read the instruction book back to front, but who gets around to it?

And can I just say: I know cell phones are getting smaller - but my fingers haven't shrunk any. I always mis-key.

You know what's going on - over time, having to work ever-smaller cell-phone keys will result in evolution causing human fingers to get smaller and pointier.

And then we won't be able to play the piano.

is it time for a nap yet? i think so

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