Tuesday, September 27, 2005

It's midday. Nearly time to go to school. Maybe. 

Every once in a while, someone has a really good idea.

I would have loved that.

I wouldn't stop there, however. I would ditch homework, several subjects and compulsory note-taking. I'm not sure about anyone else but I had a teacher - in years 11 and 12 - who made us write out entire slabs of text-books because we had to learn 'note-taking' to prepare for the rigours of university study.

Foolish man.

To this day I despise the practice of taking notes. People who obsessively write down things in meetings would take more in if they just listened attentively.

I mean, who reads their notes later? Most just get tossed in the bin.

is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Truth in advertising. 

Not that I read the personals beyond occasional morbid curiosity, they're a bit sad really, but have you ever noticed how people completely oversell themselves in these ads? 'Good sense of humour', 'bubbly personality' - all that kind of thing.

The trick, of course, is to undersell yourself:

Description: Short, fat man with absolutely no sense of humour seeks stunning female. I have no money, no fashion sense and no hair. Profession: None. I despise career-people, they bore me to tears. Ambition is mankind's very worst trait. People should stay home and mind their own business. All this going to work every day nonsense is a capitalist plot. Pastimes: I sit in my quite comfortable lounge room, and occasionally in the back garden if the sun's out. I despise picnics and detest the cinema, especially tedious movies that run over ninety minutes. I also hate parties. Why would anyone invite a houseful of boorish people over to shout inanities at each other and then play loud music at the same time? Hobbies: Hobbies are for children. However, I occasionally count the aeroplanes that fly over my house. Habits: I smoke and drink, often at once: it saves time. Car: I catch the bus. Parking is a bastard. Give me a call if you're interested. Note: genuine enquiries only please.

There, that's better. Sure to work a treat. I should run it one day.

is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Definition of disappointment. 

Being excited about another comment appearing on your post, only to check it and realise that it was YOUR OWN reply to previous commenters.

is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Thursday, September 15, 2005


Because I dislike the word 'meme'. (How can someone dislike a word? Easy. I dislike many words. Some I even detest.)

How many books do I own?

Far too many. They lurk, they shuffle, they sit on dark shelves silently and laugh on open shelves out loud. They reside in boxes stuffed away in back rooms. They probably dance with each other at night, covers akimbo, leaves all a-splay. They come out occasionally to be read. Most times, they are on their best behaviour. I love them. But sometimes I threaten to sell them when their stories become too loud, too raucous, like ghosts of the past having a party. They stop immediately, but I think they do not take me seriously and start regaling each other once again when I am asleep.

What was the last book I bought?

The Beatrix Potter boxed set. Parents of children should get over buying Beatrix Potter merchandising and read the actual books to them. Her language is unsurpassed. Today's children will need a dictionary. Provide them with one.

What is the book I last read?

Farewell, My Lovely. Raymond Chandler. Chandler is my favourite writer. I just can't understand his plot intricacies. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO! His writing shines like a bunch of diamonds thrown into a dirty stream. The diamonds are his writing and the dirty stream is the plot. It's just there and it doesn't get in the way because you can just reach right down and touch those precious jewels.

Five books that mean a lot to me.

Too hard. Hundreds of books mean a lot to me. Raymond Chandler's eight tight masterpieces. Ivan Southall's children's disaster novels that frightened me as a child. Mavis Thorpe Clarke similarly. Joan Lindsay. A. A. Milne. E. B. White. V. S. Naipaul. C. J. Dennis. E. M. Forster. R. L. Stevenson. A. J. Liebling. C. P. Snow. Hey, this is turning into a game - authors you love that are commonly known by two initials and a surname. J. R. R. Tolkien. OK, game over, Mister Three Initials Big-Shot Author.

Actually, my favourite author had a first name the same as his surname. Can you guess? He may not be the best ever writer, but the question is five books that mean a lot to me. Oh dear, I haven't listed any, only authors.

I found this questionnaire at Book Kitten, who chose not to 'tag' others. I agree. I don't like 'tagging' people. I would love to see anyone's answers however. Let me know if you take the questionnaire. OK, 'meme' then. I still don't like the word.

is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

What a hypocrite. 

After lambasting (I love that word, it has culinary overtones but I can't think why) other people for not posting, I go off into space or disappear in the Amazon basin or get lost in the Gobi desert or whatever.

(It's more like the 'whatever' than any of the others. I would like to visit the Amazon and the Gobi desert but it will probably never happen. Day trips to the beach seem to be the farthest I get from home.)

In any case, I haven't posted for many a long day. And several short ones.

Stung by Boo into action (well, a kind of osmotic movement in the general direction of the keyboard that you probably couldn't really call 'action'), I am now resuming posting.

Thanks, Boo.

is it time for a nap yet? i think so

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