joe bloggs

PILOT WALKS INTO AIR CREW FLIGHT DEPARTURE LOUNGE WITH OTHER CREW. HE PATS HIS POCKETS AS IF LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.

PILOT: Has anyone seen the keys to my Jumbo? I'm due for take-off soon and I can't find them anywhere.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: Well where did you leave them?

PILOT:(SARCASTIC) If I knew where I left them, they wouldn't be lost, would they?

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: Maybe you left them in the ignition. Have you checked the ignition?

PILOT: Of course I didn't leave them in the ignition. If I'd left them in the ignition the plane wouldn't still be there. It would have been stolen by joyriders.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: On the sideboard?

PILOT: No.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: By the telephone?

PILOT: No.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: OK, let's get them paged.

AIRPORT PAGER: YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE. IF ANYONE HAS FOUND A SET OF KEYS, WOULD THEY PLEASE RETURN THEM TO FLIGHT DEPARTURE LONGE 54 URGENTLY. CAPTAIN WIGGINS NEEDS THEM TO START A JUMBO. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION.

LATER, NO KEYS HAVE BEEN HANDED IN.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: Did you check the pockets of the jacket you had on yesterday?

PILOT: I've got the same jacket on today, and they're not in it.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: WHAT? Don't tell me you're wearing that jacket two days in a row. Go and change it AT ONCE!

PILOT: It's not dirty. And don't start! I've got enough on my plate. (THINKS) Doh!

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: What?

PILOT: I think I left them in the the glovebox of that Airbus I was flying last night.

FEMALE CREW MEMBER: Well, go and check!

PILOT: I can't. It just took off for Rome an hour ago.






is it time for a nap yet? i think so