joe bloggs

More crocs on the loose:

'A 2.5m to 3m crocodile swam within metres of the Cairns Esplanade yesterday, prompting police to urge people back from the shoreline ... Queensland Parks and Wildlife Service officers set up warning signs on the foreshore walkway.'

Crocs can read?

UPDATE 2 NOVEMBER

Another one.

All right, I'll stop with the croc stories.






is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Or Happy Holidays, if you don't recognise Christmas. I'm almost in the latter category.

It's obviously Christmas because the supermarkets have hung decorations and have started advertising things for Christmas.

That's nothing. The toy stores started a couple months ago advertising their toys for Christmas laybys.

Then it will be Valentines.

Then it will be Easter.

Slow the hell down, everyone!





is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Is there a guitar outro that sings and wails and croons and expresses so many highs and lows as the ending to the Red Hot Chile Peppers' The Zepher Song?

I didn't think so.

It's two years old and it still gives me goosebumps.





is it time for a nap yet? i think so

I only went to see Open Water because I once visited the place that poor couple disappeared from - the case that this movie is supposedly based on.

Well, talk about a let-down.

All the reviews said a twist ending. A shock surprise.

If you haven't seen the movie look away now. I'm about to reveal the shock.

They're in the ocean for like fifteen hours.

One gets eaten by a shark.

Then the other one drowns.

And seven hours after they're in the water they have this childish argument about whose fault it was. That just wouldn't happen. It just wouldn't. They might argue about fault if they'd been saved and months down the track they were having trouble readjusting to their formerly stressed life. But not after seven hours in the water.

Shock ending might have been that they wash up on an island and live happily ever after eating coconuts and barbecuing fish. Or a Russian spacecraft module lands next to them and they are saved.

And how about the endless footage of the sea with scary shark music? That went on forever.

No stars out of five.

Plus, the cinema refused to sell me a choc-top ice-cream. You had to buy it as part of a combo deal with popcorn and soft drink.

What am I, a teenager?









is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Every night I carefully remove my left contact lens and place it in the left reservoir of the contact lens case, identified by its cap being green.

Then I carefully remove my right contact lens and place it in the right reservoir of the contact lens case, identified by its cap being white.

Some mornings, when I reapply my contact lenses THEY ARE IN THE WRONG EYES.

I'm onto you, contact lens pixies.





is it time for a nap yet? i think so

A blog is like a diary, right?

Then why doesn't anyone start their entries with 'Dear Diary'?

Maybe it's because 'Dear Blog' just doesn't have the same alliterative, sonorous tone of 'Dear Diary', which leads so beautifully into 'Today, something wonderful and totally unexpected happened to me! Yes me! Let me tell you all about it! I came down for breakfast as usual at 7:30, freshly showered and dressed, when suddenly ...' etc.





is it time for a nap yet? i think so

I hope Skippy gets well out of the way of the motorbikes.



is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Granny won. Shame about the croc, he was about fifty years old.

Lesson: don't sleep that close to the water. Or put the roast leg of lamb or fishbones away from the tent before you go to bed.

UPDATE


How it happened.



is it time for a nap yet? i think so

I read that the Prime Minister was greeted by well-wishers.

I always thought a well-wisher was someone who made a wish at a wishing well.

Seems like they are simply someone who congratulates another person.

(And what happened to wishing wells? They used to be an indispensible item of public infrastructure. Now it's all shopping centres and freeways.)




is it time for a nap yet? i think so

So North Korea's Dear Leader Kim Jong Il is setting up Hackers'R'Us to bring cyberterrorism to the world.

Touch my weblog and you're toast, dude.







is it time for a nap yet? i think so

Well, it's just that I haven't been away, but my computer has, unexpectedly.

And after my last observation that others don't post at weekends, I've inadvertantly gone a whole week without posting.

To apologise would be presumptuous, but I'm sorry anyway.

Now to think of some things to say. You would think I would have saved them up, going a week without posting, but in fact, it is the reverse.

I am devoid of thoughts.

I guess they'll return.







is it time for a nap yet? i think so